Grace

“This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it’s over
Just hear this and then I’ll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you’ll ever know”

The poetry of Jeff Buckley’s songs still gets me every time.  There is something in his voice, his rip-your-heart-out lyrics, that packs a punch at once sorrowful and comforting.  Comforting in the knowledge of a shared connection with another human being, the common experience of losing love.  And the sweet poignancy of mourning ‘what could have been’.

It is twenty years ago today that our world lost this amazing artist. It is also twenty years ago that I experienced my first, real, knock-you-down, heartbreak. I remember when we split our CD collection, there were only three we had in common (a clear signal that the relationship was not destined to last!) Grace, of course, was one of those.  A pivotal soundtrack for me, and for my life. 

Music has a clever way of taking us back in time to a place, an emotion, a sense of ourselves. And in that nostalgia, a reflection of who we were then, who we are now and how far we’ve come.  And somehow the intensity of those long-ago feelings become even stronger, and not just in the memory of the sorrow or indeed the bliss of those times, the bittersweet imagining of what could have been, but also in the triumph for what has been.  The loves that have come and gone, the rich tapestry of our own life as it has played out, bringing us to the sweet spot we stand in now.

I used to believe that only the songs from our formative years could have such a deep hold on our hearts, but the truth is that the power and the magic of music, combined with epodic lyrics can catch us unawares and take our breath away long after we are no longer young.

“It’s never over, she’s a tear that hangs inside my soul forever”

Thank you for teaching me how to find the beauty in grief.  Thank you for teaching me how to let go, and for how to never let go.

Thank you for your exquisite talent, rest in peace.

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